I am absolutely amazed. I really was so unaware of what having a child really meant for my life.
With you in my life, it has meant many nights spent at home instead of with my friends. It has meant less for myself so that there would be more for you. It has meant not always getting the last cookie or that last bite of ice cream. Sometimes it has been declining invitations because they wouldn't be "fun" for you. It means working more than I'd like, FAR less sleep than I knew one human could live without, and sometimes so much frustration I didn't think I could possibly be fit for this life. It has meant shows and toys that drive me crazy, showers so fast I couldn't be remotely clean, and more messes than any maid should have to clean.
But, you mean so much more than those things. You mean more than I think words could describe to you. Having you in my life has meant many nights cuddled on the couch. It is the excitement of finding something new that I knew you'd love. It means having someone to share my cookies and ice cream with, and the little grin on your face when you know you stole my last bite. It means remembering what it's like to be carefree, and that things don't always have to be so perfect and put together. It means that sometimes it's okay to get it wrong, because we still have one another. It means having a reason to get up in the morning and keep going, because when I ask you what my job is, your response is always "to protect me." It is the early mornings rushing to sporting events to cheer you on because you are a superstar. It means kissing boo boo's and having tickle fights and laughing so much I can almost actually forget what's wrong with this world today. It has meant learning more about dinosaurs and super heroes than I could have imagined. It is watching you grow, learn, and laugh. Watching you become a compassionate, caring young man. I look at you and everything I have ever done and gone through for your sake is suddenly erased and all I can seem to think is that it's all been so worth it for that one smile.
On many occasions I have been so exhausted, frustrated, and hopeless that I felt sorry for you, because you deserve all the wonderful things life has to offer. I have felt helpless and lost and under water. Somehow you, in your sweet little way, manage to wash away every doubt and fear I have when you smile at me and say "I love you." You truly are a hero. You have saved me from myself and given me something to believe in. You are everything I believe in, and as I watch you become more independent I know you are on a good path. We are the most perfect pair, and I have finally grasped the concept of the fact as I see the world in you, you also see this in me.
You are a lover, a nurturer, an inventor, a learner, a scientist, an enthusiast, a friend, a hero, the best friend any person could ever ask for. You are compassionate and understanding, excited and full of life. You are wonderful in so many ways, and the absolutely epitome of perfection in my eyes. You are far more than I could have hoped you would be, and I expect you to change the world. You are too ambitious and adventurous to do anything less.
More important than any of those things, you are my son and my best friend. I love you.
Happy Birthday.
Sunday, October 6, 2013
Monday, October 11, 2010
And THIS is good, in my world.
First of all, to any of you lovely's who were ever overcome by boredom, and visited this page before, you'll notice all the previous ramblings are gone. Yup. And, to any of you who have a life, and have never seen this before, welcome. Fresh starts. :]
Now, since I have become a mother, I have realized a lot of things. Mostly though, that nothing is THAT embarrassing. Sillier things will happen -- just smile and wait for the next one! While I write this, I'd like to give you a visual: I'm currently at the computer in a random combination of shorts, and a hoodie. [why not?] eating this lovely jalapeno cheese hot dog, with only onions, because I have no mustard. :[ Not to mention constantly removing my sweet kitty, Tyson, from the desk. He just wants to be loved, I know. But gah, he's hairy!
Here we go .. for some fun, I'm going to paint a picture of today's happenings, because I thought it to be quite amusing. After taking Kayden to school, and coaxing my mother into treating me to some lunch, I get ready only to find out I was going to die if I wore out the sweater I had put on. Hence, I had to go BACK in to change. And then, as I'm driving to the restaurant, my mom calls me to tell me they are CLOSED for today only. *sadface* Upside! Did go spend about an hour at the park with someone beautiful<3 picked Kayden up from school, came home to get some random belongings, and then ventured to madre's to clean my disastrous car.
Sidenote: my hot dog bun just broke.! Oh, whoa is me.
Thankfully, we did arrive at my parents, considering my son dropped his potato chip bag and begged me to retrieve it at the slight speed of roughly 60 mph. All the way there, he wanted to play in his sandbox.. UNTIL, we actually got there. Then what did he want to do? Well, be a boy. He insisted that his golf set was baseball, and vice verse. I firmly believe he was trying to mess with me on that one. He drove his little car into a mound of rocks, asked me to put on his roller skates [which is time consuming with safety pads and all] and after about 35 seconds, was done skating. Broke one of my parents little garden, uh, critters? Followed by hiding behind a tree, until he finally decided he wanted to go inside. All of this, while I'm supposed to be cleaning my car!?! Ah!
Finally, after having my mother shut the door on me because she did not appreciate my rendition [horrification?] of Hey There Delilah, I'm ready to vacuum. For some reason beyond me, my step dad took my moms vacuum we used to use on the cars, and left the shop vac he uses for his SEMI in its' place. Just go ahead and imagine me using that monster on my 2-door Chevy Cobalt. Yeah, it probably did go as bad as you're thinking.
My 5'4 person, in my adorable black boots, standing with both feet on my floor mats trying to vacuum them because this thing gets a hold of them and doesn't let go. Though time consuming, on a lighter note I did get my boots vacuumed. That was cool! :] Kayden's car seat was just about as fun as the floor mats. I believe I shook the majority of his crumbs into the ground and thought "here, birds! Enjoy!" His car seat did get knocked over a time or two, trying to lug this old fashioned machinery to a place where it could reach my car. Bah.! There is a small space between the bottom ledge of the car, and the seat, on both sides that does not look like it had been cleaned at all. Why? Economy sized shop-vac did not fit :[
Clearly, I was having a pretty rad jam session in the driveway. On a not so bright side, trying to wipe off my steering wheel caused me to mute the music several times pretty much in a row. Ever been to a concert where the band stops singing, and the fans sound like death, so the band immediately starts playing again?? Ah. I was that disgusting group of fans, over and over. Maybe my mother saw this coming, and shut the door before being subjected to any further torture? She may be smarter than she looks, after all ;]
I know you're all dyyying to know -- I did indeed get my car beautified, to the best of my ability. Although maybe I should hit up the car wash vacuum, as it is not super-sized.
We went on to have Cracker Barrel with my mom. Then, I decided to go into the store and look at booster seats for my over sized 3 year old. While I was looking, he managed to find a toy train "6mos+" and was just devastated when I told him he could not take it home, and placed it out of his reach. After throwing himself on the floor, and then running away from me, he fell and hit the side of his head, immediately wanting to be carried out. Unfortunately, he is HEAVY!
Thankfully, the rest of my evening has been safe from danger inside the apartment. The funniest part of all this?? This is considered a GOOD DAY in my life. I hope all of yours were better, and that as you read this you continue to think, "better you than me, lady!" Goodnight, my loves. :]
Now, since I have become a mother, I have realized a lot of things. Mostly though, that nothing is THAT embarrassing. Sillier things will happen -- just smile and wait for the next one! While I write this, I'd like to give you a visual: I'm currently at the computer in a random combination of shorts, and a hoodie. [why not?] eating this lovely jalapeno cheese hot dog, with only onions, because I have no mustard. :[ Not to mention constantly removing my sweet kitty, Tyson, from the desk. He just wants to be loved, I know. But gah, he's hairy!
Here we go .. for some fun, I'm going to paint a picture of today's happenings, because I thought it to be quite amusing. After taking Kayden to school, and coaxing my mother into treating me to some lunch, I get ready only to find out I was going to die if I wore out the sweater I had put on. Hence, I had to go BACK in to change. And then, as I'm driving to the restaurant, my mom calls me to tell me they are CLOSED for today only. *sadface* Upside! Did go spend about an hour at the park with someone beautiful<3 picked Kayden up from school, came home to get some random belongings, and then ventured to madre's to clean my disastrous car.
Sidenote: my hot dog bun just broke.! Oh, whoa is me.
Thankfully, we did arrive at my parents, considering my son dropped his potato chip bag and begged me to retrieve it at the slight speed of roughly 60 mph. All the way there, he wanted to play in his sandbox.. UNTIL, we actually got there. Then what did he want to do? Well, be a boy. He insisted that his golf set was baseball, and vice verse. I firmly believe he was trying to mess with me on that one. He drove his little car into a mound of rocks, asked me to put on his roller skates [which is time consuming with safety pads and all] and after about 35 seconds, was done skating. Broke one of my parents little garden, uh, critters? Followed by hiding behind a tree, until he finally decided he wanted to go inside. All of this, while I'm supposed to be cleaning my car!?! Ah!
Finally, after having my mother shut the door on me because she did not appreciate my rendition [horrification?] of Hey There Delilah, I'm ready to vacuum. For some reason beyond me, my step dad took my moms vacuum we used to use on the cars, and left the shop vac he uses for his SEMI in its' place. Just go ahead and imagine me using that monster on my 2-door Chevy Cobalt. Yeah, it probably did go as bad as you're thinking.
My 5'4 person, in my adorable black boots, standing with both feet on my floor mats trying to vacuum them because this thing gets a hold of them and doesn't let go. Though time consuming, on a lighter note I did get my boots vacuumed. That was cool! :] Kayden's car seat was just about as fun as the floor mats. I believe I shook the majority of his crumbs into the ground and thought "here, birds! Enjoy!" His car seat did get knocked over a time or two, trying to lug this old fashioned machinery to a place where it could reach my car. Bah.! There is a small space between the bottom ledge of the car, and the seat, on both sides that does not look like it had been cleaned at all. Why? Economy sized shop-vac did not fit :[
Clearly, I was having a pretty rad jam session in the driveway. On a not so bright side, trying to wipe off my steering wheel caused me to mute the music several times pretty much in a row. Ever been to a concert where the band stops singing, and the fans sound like death, so the band immediately starts playing again?? Ah. I was that disgusting group of fans, over and over. Maybe my mother saw this coming, and shut the door before being subjected to any further torture? She may be smarter than she looks, after all ;]
I know you're all dyyying to know -- I did indeed get my car beautified, to the best of my ability. Although maybe I should hit up the car wash vacuum, as it is not super-sized.
We went on to have Cracker Barrel with my mom. Then, I decided to go into the store and look at booster seats for my over sized 3 year old. While I was looking, he managed to find a toy train "6mos+" and was just devastated when I told him he could not take it home, and placed it out of his reach. After throwing himself on the floor, and then running away from me, he fell and hit the side of his head, immediately wanting to be carried out. Unfortunately, he is HEAVY!
Thankfully, the rest of my evening has been safe from danger inside the apartment. The funniest part of all this?? This is considered a GOOD DAY in my life. I hope all of yours were better, and that as you read this you continue to think, "better you than me, lady!" Goodnight, my loves. :]
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