Love Letter

I am absolutely amazed. I really was so unaware of what having a child really meant for my life.

With you in my life, it has meant many nights spent at home instead of with my friends. It has meant less for myself so that there would be more for you. It has meant not always getting the last cookie or that last bite of ice cream. Sometimes it has been declining invitations because they wouldn't be "fun" for you. It means working more than I'd like, FAR less sleep than I knew one human could live without, and sometimes so much frustration I didn't think I could possibly be fit for this life. It has meant shows and toys that drive me crazy, showers so fast I couldn't be remotely clean, and more messes than any maid should have to clean.

But, you mean so much more than those things. You mean more than I think words could describe to you. Having you in my life has meant many nights cuddled on the couch. It is the excitement of finding something new that I knew you'd love. It means having someone to share my cookies and ice cream with, and the little grin on your face when you know you stole my last bite. It means remembering what it's like to be carefree, and that things don't always have to be so perfect and put together. It means that sometimes it's okay to get it wrong, because we still have one another. It means having a reason to get up in the morning and keep going, because when I ask you what my job is, your response is always "to protect me." It is the early mornings rushing to sporting events to cheer you on because you are a superstar. It means kissing boo boo's and having tickle fights and laughing so much I can almost actually forget what's wrong with this world today. It has meant learning more about dinosaurs and super heroes than I could have imagined. It is watching you grow, learn, and laugh. Watching you become a compassionate, caring young man. I look at you and everything I have ever done and gone through for your sake is suddenly erased and all I can seem to think is that it's all been so worth it for that one smile.

On many occasions I have been so exhausted, frustrated, and hopeless that I felt sorry for you, because you deserve all the wonderful things life has to offer. I have felt helpless and lost and under water. Somehow you, in your sweet little way, manage to wash away every doubt and fear I have when you smile at me and say "I love you." You truly are a hero. You have saved me from myself and given me something to believe in. You are everything I believe in, and as I watch you become more independent I know you are on a good path. We are the most perfect pair, and I have finally grasped the concept of the fact as I see the world in you, you also see this in me.

You are a lover, a nurturer, an inventor, a learner, a scientist, an enthusiast, a friend, a hero, the best friend any person could ever ask for. You are compassionate and understanding, excited and full of life. You are wonderful in so many ways, and the absolutely epitome of perfection in my eyes. You are far more than I could have hoped you would be, and I expect you to change the world. You are too ambitious and adventurous to do anything less.

More important than any of those things, you are my son and my best friend. I love you.

Happy Birthday.